How to handle a teenage child's love?
I am discussing how parents should handle such problems. Only the victim knows how big a problem it is. So even if one person benefits from this writing, I will be blessed.1. First, handle yourself.
When parents get to know about a teenage child's love, they usually react very quickly. Usually, it is anger, crying, screaming, and beating. Please do not do these. Stay calm. Such problems are common. This is not the first time for your child. So, handle the matter calmly without getting angry or acting too emotionally. No matter how much you shout about it, the problem will not be solved. Rather, your child will become more stubborn and will not listen to anything. So first of all, handle yourself.
2. Discuss with your partner.
If you face this problem, discuss how the husband and wife will deal with it privately. In this case, mothers often make a mistake. That is, thinking that the husband will get angry if he finds out about it, he keeps it a secret from her. He tries to solve the problem himself. In most cases, this attempt fails. Finally, when the child's father finds out, the problem becomes so obvious that it becomes impossible to solve it. So, the first mother or father to find out about it should tell the other person. Do not deal with the problem alone, but with the intelligence of both.
3. Talk openly with the child.
Talk openly with the child about the matter without getting angry. Try to understand how far the matter has progressed. Give him a chance to talk without fear. Without judging him before listening, let him say what he says and why he has made this choice. You may not like his statement, but still listen to him. Listening to him will be very useful in solving such problems.
4. Explain calmly.
After listening to his statement, explain calmly why you do not support this relationship. You will find many clues to say the opposite in his words. For example, a person with whom the relationship is uncertain about his future, family problems, which will cause problems in the future, there are many clues like this. However, do not defame the person he likes, do not drag his family, and make small talk. This will create problems on the contrary. Instead, explain to him why this relationship is not practical. If he understands that the relationship really has no future, he will move away on his own.
5. Tell him about the problems of teenage love.
Explain to him with examples what problems occur in teenage love. There are such examples around you. I wrote yesterday about what problems that occur in this kind of love. If you want, you can scroll down my page and read it.
6. Take help from his friends.
Children of this age listen more to their friends or peers than to their parents. So talk to his closest friends or cousins. Request them to explain to him. If they explain, it may work.
7. Do not threaten.
Many parents, upon hearing about such relationships, threaten, intimidate, and try to show power over the person they are in a relationship with. In almost 100% of cases, the result is negative. This increases the stubbornness of both parties, and only because of stubbornness, they get involved in a deeper relationship.
8. Create a place of trust.
If you encounter such a problem, do not make yourself an enemy of your child. Rather, create a place of trust for him. He will believe that you are advising him for his good, not for his honor or self-interest. If you create such a place, he will trust you and will move away from the wrong relationship.
9. Do not tell everyone.
Please do not talk to everyone and ask for advice. This will make your child feel humiliated and become more stubborn. The result is that he will insist on getting involved more without breaking the relationship.
10. Don't insult his feelings.
Teenage children are very emotional. If you hurt their feelings, they will never accept it. Rather, they will behave the opposite. So, explain to him without hurting his feelings. Put your hand on his head, say, 'I understand the pain of ending this relationship. But in the reality of life, we have to accept many things. For your beautiful future, you also have to accept it.'
11. You can ask for advice from someone you trust.
Even if you don't tell him in person, you can talk to someone you trust and can trust. Who will advise you while maintaining complete privacy?
12. Don't lock him up at home: Don't stop studying.
At least don't lock him up at home because of love. In this age of communication, love cannot be locked up by locking it up between four walls. Let him go to school and college. But tell him one thing, that is, 'I trust you, don't disrespect it.' I think this respect and trust towards him will work more than keeping him imprisoned. But decide how long he will be out. For example, you have to return home after finishing school or college. You have to inform where you are going, wherever you go. You have to return home on time. Never stop studying in such a situation. This will ruin his life.
13. Do not blame each other.
Many times, husband and wife blame each other for such problems. Especially the mother of the child is blamed. Please do not do that. Rather, both of you should face the problem together. If you quarrel, when will you handle the child?
14. It's a pure mind game.
Remember, you are playing a mind game to get your child out of this problem. Who will win in this, you or your child's destructive love? You will win if you are clever. You can apply the strategies I have mentioned. Mind games are like playing Snake-Ludo. If you make one wrong move, the snake will eat you. So play carefully. Play thoughtfully. The future of the child depends on your victory.
15. Prevention is better than a cure.
The unpleasant truth is that adolescence is an age when it is very difficult to talk. Therefore, once you get involved in a relationship, it is very difficult to get out of it. Therefore, keep an eye on it so that you do not get involved in it. What you need to do for this is,
A) As soon as your child enters their teenage years, be open about the bad consequences of such a relationship. When my daughter reached this age, her mother had an open discussion with her about the matter. This was very helpful.
B) Keep a close eye on her. Be careful with whom she mixes. Call friends to your house from time to time. Then you will understand a lot. For the intelligent, gestures are enough.
C) Control the use of smartphones or the internet. Make sure that these two things are not within her reach at night while sleeping. If there is WiFi at home, turn it off after a specific time at night. Ask her to deposit her mobile set with you. If you set these rules at the very beginning, she will accept them. So, clear this condition before buying a smartphone. Late at night, a mobile phone in the hands of a child can become a 'devil'.
The last thing is, if you know about the love of a teenage child, do not jump with a broom and say, 'I am taking out your love'. Take a deep breath, then think, 'I am going into a little war and to win the war, I need to have a cool head, not a hot head. So I need to keep a cool head.'
Then go into the war. You will see, you will win.
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